Wednesday, August 24, 2005


I started this day annoyed. When I arrived at the streetcar stop, I was late for work. I waited, and waited, watching hopefully down the road for a glimpse of the streetcar lights. More people arrived, bunching up on the sidewalk like grapes. Checking their watches. Stepping out into the street. Sighing impatiently. Time passed, and I decided to walk to the subway. I rushed down the street, irritated by the delay. I didn't notice the beauty of the day.

As I adjusted my sunglasses, a young man smiled at me. The beautiful, ambient Desire by Blank and Jones filled my ears. I slowed down. I noticed the bright, cloudless sky. I walked by a garden full of flowers. I saw lovely colours. Blue. Pink. Red. Yellow. I felt the warmth of the sun on my arms. I felt my heart expand. I filled with breath. I felt a wave of gratitude wash over me. And my eyes filled with tears. Tears of gratitude. For beauty. And for life.

And I realized that gratitude is always there, waiting, that it occurs naturally in every one of us. All we have to do is ask for it. Gratitude always strikes me when I least expect it, and sometimes I feel embarassed by my tears. It seems silly to be moved to tears by the colour of the sky. Maudlin to cry over a garden full of flowers. It's why I hide behind dark glasses. Avoid eye contact. Stay locked behind an impenetrable wall.

For how can one afford to be so vulnerable in a world ruled by the timing of streetcars?


Anonymous said...

We are all vulnerable.
The question is can we afford to continue pretending that we are not. Hiding behind sunglasses or the fear of showing our emotions are just a few of the ways in which we deny ourselves the gratitude of life.

Lead by example. Look people in the eye and show them the beauty of life.

You create the world you live in.

Anonymous said...

I love it! you are so right, we get caught up with running from here to there and miss the important things in live. I love you showing your vulnerability. Di