Every experience you have is a gift you've given yourself. - Anonymous
I was raised studying a fundamentalist religion. Despite my mother's hopes, it never stuck. I knew at a soul level that it wasn't for me. It simply didn't fit. Still, she tried. And tried. And tried. And I became so sick of having religion force-fed to me, that I turned my back on the Source completely. See! I still don't like to say "God." I prefer to say Universe or The Divine or The Source, though by now, I've learned that God is just another word for the same thing.
The problem, I guess, with turning my back on Spirit, is that essentially, I was turning my back on myself. Because we are all a part of the Divine - it is within each of us. I spent many years running away from this simple truth. I lost myself in self-destructive pursuits - numbing, medicating and fleeing haphazardly from the Spark within. I lived other people's lives, allowed myself to be caught up in endless victim dramas, their patterns stretching out to eternity. I followed someone else's dreams cuz, at the time, it seemed easier than following my own. I sabotaged myself. I prostituted myself. I victimized myself.
All this I did to run as far from myself as possible. I did not believe what my mother did, and because this was my only experience of Spirit, I felt that there was something terribly wrong with me. I locked a piece of myself away. Dis-integrated. Dis-connected. Ashamed. Alone in the dark. So I ran. And ran. And ran. But how do you snuff out that inherent Divine Spark?
Today, I know that Spirit lives in me...just as it lives in everyone else.
Today, I know that when we act from a place of love, we are connected.
Today, I know that I am on my own journey, and always have been.
Today, I know that I can respect someone else's journey by letting go.
Today, I know that every experience I have was chosen by my soul.
Today, I am learning to release control and have faith.
Today, I go inside.
Today, I am still.
Today, I live in the moment.
Today, I know what gratitude is.
Today, I know there is much more to remember.