Monday, July 31, 2006

Scarcity Consciousness

Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want. - Mark Twain

I'm on day 38 of a 40 day Prosperity Plan. It was given to me by a Catholic nun, and involves meditating and journaling on a series of 10 different statements about abundance. If you miss a day, you have to start over again from day 1. So far, so good. Although I must admit, that meditating everyday has been a serious challenge. For some reason, it's difficult to find 15 minutes a day to fit this in. Like my friend Virginia used to say, "The tail wags the dog. Life gets in the way...what are you gonna do about it?"

Well, usually I try to go with the flow, but in this particular situation (since it has to happen), my solution is to try to squeeze it in right before I go to bed. This happens around 1:00 in the morning, and more often than not after a long day of working, yoga, classes and socializing. It's tough. You'd think finding 15 minutes a day would be a piece of cake, but somehow that Summerlicious reservation at Canoe or taiko drumming class or jewellery shopping in Kensington with Em or the All Out War trailer release party at SPIN or planning my trip to Italy takes priority. The tail wags the dog. Life happens, right?

Honestly, sometimes I fall asleep during the meditations. Nonetheless, I can feel things shifting. Not so much in terms of how much money I have, or how much money comes to me. I didn't win the lottery all of a sudden or anything! It's more in terms of how I view the world. Something in me is shifting, and that's potentially more profound and lasting than any extra cash I might gain. I'm patiently waiting for it to unfold.

Louise Hay wisely says that "Prosperity or lack of it is an outer expression of the ideas in your head." I know I've just scratched the surface of this notion, but I'm starting to understand it in a truly meaningful way. I'm starting to see how much of life is lived in scarcity consciousness, and how deeply embedded this way of thinking is in North American society. I have friends who live downtown, wear designer jeans, and drive nice cars, and all they do is complain about how broke they are. They never offer to pay for coffee or drinks or meals...and the gifts they receive (monetary or otherwise) are never enough. All of this stems from scarcity consciousness. Sadly, when you feel like you don't have enough, ultimately, you feel like you, the person, are not enough, and then you start TAKING, to try to feel secure. This feeling of "not enough" takes over your life. And money is never the answer, but somehow, when you live in scarcity consciousness, it seems like the only solution. If I only had more money, then I wouldn't be so sad, so lonely, so stressed, so _______ (fill in the blank).

Which leads me right back to Mark Twain. Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want. And I'm not there yet. Probably nowhere close. But I'm working on it.


Furtheron said...

15 mins - a DAY!! I know what you mean. You chase life like crazy only wishing it'd stop for a moment so you can get a bit of clarity but if only you stopped you get that.

Like the Twain quote. I was having this discussion with my boss yesterday about stuff here - our company has just appointed a new CEO so give it a year and the changes he wants will ripple through the pond to the pond life like me. We were talking about it. My boss has a complicated (to me) life, ex wife abroad with young daughter, newly bought house with new partner therefore large mortgage etc. "No assets in the bank" as he puts it. But he seems less frightened of losing this job than me. Mad - I don't have half his monetary commitments, more stable life and I choose to live in a different town making my commute here longer but London is a viable option for a job.

Firstly - all in my head - this is not todays issues is it? Secondly I should have my comfort in what I have and my abilities.

Hmm something for me to meditate on - when I can find the time.... :-)

hattigrace said...

It is more blessed to give than to recieve. Looking around to see what others don't have and what I can give them is another way out of the whole self-centered thing about lack. I don't give enough, but when I do, what JOY!

Through a Glass Darkly said...

What you're saying is so true. Great post.