Friday, December 22, 2006

The Cough

The Cough (as I've come to call it) is slowly tapering off. I've had 2 nights of blissfully uninterrupted sleep, and can complete sentences without dissolving into convulsions or spitting all over my conversational partner. What I'm left with is a deep aching sensation through both sides of my ribcage and a sense of profound exhaustion. It's been so long since I've felt fully Here, Now, that I don't really remember what it is to be grounded.

I've been through The Cough 4 or 5 times in the last 2 years, and I simultaneously dread and anticipate it's looming presence every time. I dread it because it's physically trying and emotionally challenging. I anticipate it because it always precedes a major shift in frequency and consciousness.

This particular bout of The Cough has lasted longer and been more intense than any previous episode. There have been moments when I have looked heavenward, and screamed internally, "I can't take it anymore." It has been extremely challenging to say the least. Physically, sure, but more so in energetic and emotional terms. When you clear old toxic layers and deeply held patterns of behaviour, turbulence usually ensues. And because we are all One, as you shift frequency individually, there is a domino effect in your immediate environment. It's like the tumbling of a house of cards after a pivotal card has been removed. At least this is what happens for me. Added to this is the complication of other individuals and their particular patterns of behaviour. Many people are not comfortable with a shift, let alone a transformative experience. They find it threatening on a subconscious and primal level, and correspondingly act out and against in survival and fear. Sometimes it's difficult to just be transparent, and let this stuff pass through me. I have a survival instinct too. And when others are attacking you for no apparent reason, it's hard not to attack back. Holding a space of non-reaction will always be one of my hardest challenges. But I have learned through many difficult experiences (gifts) that non-reaction is the best solution to such situations. We're all walking our own path anyways, and if you have faith in divine intelligence, it all works out in the end.

In the last month, I have felt joyful, anxious, restless, depressed, confused, chaotic, blissful, rested, insane and any number of other beautiful emotions; sometimes all within the same day. A frequency shift causes you to lose your centre for a time, and I feel this viscerally. I'm not sure where the ground is. It feels like its slipping and sliding under my feet, and just when I've figured out how to place my feet and stand upright, it's pulled out from beneath me again.

Such is the shifting nature of my current reality. It's a whole new world, and I'm trying to find a new way to Be.

I believe this is because my heart chakra is awakening (it has been closed for a very long time), and my throat chakra is clearing. In esoteric terms, the heart chakra is the centre of the human energy system. It spins in both directions and is the middle point between the 3 lower or physical chakras (safety, security, personal power) and the 3 higher chakras (intuition, manifesting ability, connection to the divine).

Louise LeBrun explains this much better than I can - so read on...


Further on up the road said...

Wow - new look to the blog. Like it.

Glad The Cough is subsiding.

Merry Christmas and a Happy and hopefully cough free New Year.


EMOB said...

BEAUTIFUL!!! Happy New Year friend! :)

kakaboo said...

Merry christmas friend!! Beautiful blog :)

Cheers Sid from
Manifesting abundance