Thursday, November 24, 2005

Tiffany & Co on Ice

We had our first snowfall last night. As usual, the pretty white flakes melted by morning, leaving behind grey slush, and sheets of ice as evidence. Toronto can be treacherous in the wintertime, with sidewalks turning into skating rinks very quickly. Most of our corporate citizens are VERY good about shovelling the snow and salting the sidewalks in front of their stores...not to mention that it's a liability issue.

I've worked here in the heart of the snooty retail district for over 2 years. I walk past Dolce & Gabbana and Tiffany & Co everyday on my way to my office. I have noticed over the last 2 years, that these stores NEVER bother to shovel the snow in front of their stores. This irks me to no end. Can't they afford to hire someone to do this? Or better about if the staff took the time to ensure their customers don't slip and fall on the iceslick growing in front of their beautiful marble-entombed entranceways? How about a little gravel or salt on the ice, so I don't feel like I'm gonna faceplant everytime I walk by there? Who knows? Maybe it's for their own amusement? Maybe they're all inside taking bets on who'll fall first.

Twenty bucks on the statuesque blonde in stiletto heels! Fifty on the granny with the walker!

Or hey, maybe they're just worried about breaking a manicured nail...

The Two Bums by Frypan Jack, as told by Utah Phillips

The bum on the rods is hunted down as an enemy of mankind
The other is driven around to his club, is fatted, wined, and dined

And they who curse the bum on the rods as the essence of all that's bad
Will greet the other with a winning smile and extend the hand so glad

The bum on the rods is a social flea who gets an occasional bite
The bum on the plush is a social leech, bloodsucking day and night

The bum on the rods is a load so light that his weight we scarcely feel
But it takes the labor of dozens of folks to furnish the other a meal

As long as we sanction the bum on the plush, the other will always be there
But rid ourselves of the bum on the plush, and the other will disappear

And make an intelligent, organized kick - get rid of the wasted crush
Don't worry about the bum on the rods - get rid of the bum on the plush

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